The Way To A Woman's Heart
by xXHaruXiaOTPXx
Summary: In which Itachi deals with a small pink female problem. Some implied genin Itachi romance. AU non-massacre.


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Author's Note: This is a sort of 'sequel 'to "Poor Itachi" by Lord Melkor. There's a link in my profile I **highly** reccomend you read it.

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It was lunchtime in Konoha. And for Uzumaki Naruto this meant one thing and one thing only: ramen. Having recently been awarded the status of genin he decided that the ninja thing to do would be to jump rooftops to get to Ichiraku Ramen as opposed to walking. And so he hopped along, roof to roof, in the direction of the ramen stand.

"Hey Itachi, what's up?" Naruto landed with a dull thud next to the Uchiha on the roof of the Yamanaka flower shop. This sudden interruption did not appear to disturb him as he remained cool as ever, sitting on a stool.

It took a few minutes for Itachi to respond. 'I wonder if he's sleeping. He sure does sleep a lot. Wait! Can people sleep with their eyes open? Ninja's probably can. Maybe I should start to learn to do that. It sounds like something a hokage should be able to do…'

Naruto did not get much father with planning his new hokage skill for Itachi chose that exact moment to interrupt the inner dialogue.

"Revenge" he responded smoothly.

"But I thought revenge was your brother's thing…"

"It is."

"…Okay. Sooooooooo, wanna go get ramen?"

"Naruto, I'm busy at the moment. "

"You don't _look_ busy."

In truth Itachi really didn't look busy. He was just stiffly sitting on a stool close to the edge of a rooftop. He may have been gazing down at passerbies or he may have been sleeping, it was a tossup.

"Well I am. I'm in the process of getting back at Sakura."

"Why?"

"She has tested me and my love of dango one too many times. I've had enough."

"What are you gonna do about it?"

"I'm going to tease her with," he paused dramatically "chocolate." Out of the blue bag that was lying by his feet he pulled out a box of pharmacy store chocolate. The inexpensive kind found in a package that makes the box looked like it is wrapped in nice yellow paper that screams 'I'm from the sixties' and is made complete with a bow printed on the package.

Naruto snorted in reply.

"Laugh now, but you'll see." Itachi folded his hands across his chest and fell silent.

"How do you plan to tease her? Hold them above her head? You know you're not that much taller than her." Naruto tried to suppress the mocking tone in his voice.

"So says the short one."

Naruto clenched his fists and growled. "You wanna go? I'll take you right now."

Itachi just rolled his eyes. He leaned over and dug through his bag. 'There is just no getting through his thick skull.'

"What's that?" Itachi ignored the question. He really disliked how nosey Naruto could be.

Itachi placed a thin lacquered box on his lap and opened it. He pulled out three slim pieces of wood and began to screw them together. Next out of his bag came thin, clear string.

"A fishing rod? We're nowhere near a lake!" Itachi just shook his head as threaded the rod.

When the task was complete he removed his kunai and sliced the box of chocolates open. There were so many to chose from: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, caramel, nougat, cream, almond, cherry…

"Sakura would never fall for something stupid like _that_! Seriously, chocolate on the hook of your fishing pole? You really need to sort out your priorities."

"Naruto, you haven't got a clue about women, do you." Itachi was stating a fact. He wanted no answer because he already knew it. "It's sad how oblivious you are of female sensitivities."

Naruto just stared blankly at Itachi.

He sighed, "It is Sakura's time of the month. Absolutely nothing can hold her back from a piece of chocolate."

Naruto continued to look confused.

"Whatever." Itachi selected a basic milk chocolate piece and pieced it through his fishing hook. He scooted his stool closer to the edge of the rooftop as he watched the pedestrians more intensely. Naruto stood annoying close to him, waiting to see Itachi's theory proved wrong. It took about five minutes for his sharingan to pick up the soft pink locks of Sakura.

"Right on time."

"Huh? What?" Naruto looked at Itachi quizzically. He really hated how Itachi spoke in riddles. Just because he graduated at the top of his class at a young age did not give him the right to act like a know-it-all.

"Sakura has just arrived."

"Wait, how did you know she was coming?" Naruto scratched his head in thought.

"Sakura buys fresh chrysanthemums every Tuesday around one o'clock. And it is quarter of one right now."

"Have you been stalking Sakura-chan?" asked Naruto accusingly.

Itachi once again ignored Naruto as he readied for his catch. He took up his fishing rod and reeled out the bait slowly. Both Naruto and Itachi feel silent as they waited for Sakura's reaction.

And of course Sakura was completely oblivious to Itachi's fishing plans.

Just as Itachi predicted Sakura was on her way to pick up some chrysanthemums. Her mother enjoyed the fragrance of freshly cut flowers in their home. She gave Sakura the job of making sure that each room had a nice arrangement of fresh ones each day. Sakura, however, did not share the same sentiment to flowers as her mother. Arranging, keeping, and caring for fresh flowers was just too much of a hassle. So instead of going out to the fields and picking the flowers herself like a good kunoichi, she headed over to Ino's and bought some of her freshest.

But before she could even get into the door she came face to face with a levitating piece of chocolate.

"What the…" She reached out with her index finger to poke at it, but it moved two feet to the left when she got within an inch of it.

"That's odd." She walked over and made a move to grab it but it rose a few feet into the air before her hand could come into contact with it. Thoroughly irritated she began to jump up and down in an effort to capture the offensive piece of chocolate.

Above her, Naruto and Itachi were hiding several yards behind the edge of the roof trying to stifle their laughter.

"This is way too funny." Naruto clutched his stomach in laughter.

However, their celebrating was cut short just as Itachi began to reel in his line. There was a sharp tug followed by resistance after Itachi reeled in two feet. Below them Sakura had successfully managed to catch the chocolate.

"What's going on?" asked Naruto through chuckles.

"I don't know. She may have grabbed the line while we were hiding." There was a slight undertone of panic in Itachi's voice. He sat down and braced himself against the roof as he reeled the line in with difficulty. Slowly he began to move forward as Sakura below began to win their little tug of war.

"Don't worry Itachi! I'll save you." Naruto dived for Itachi and grabbed him around the middle. With all the strength he could muster he pulled Itachi backwards. But it was no use. Soon they were soon both being pulled forward. Faster and faster they slid to the edge of the roof before they tripped unceremoniously over the edge and landed on the ground in a dull heap.

"Naruto? Itachi?" Sakura stared at the two in sheer disbelief.

"Oh, hey Sakura-chan!" Naruto pushed Itachi into the ground as he stood up. He gave her the best smile he could muster in hopes that she might join him for ramen.

"What is this and why are you two attached to the end of it?" In her hand was the piece of chocolate and the hook it was attached to. She sounded irritated.

"There's actually a perfectly good explanation." Naruto continued to grin as Itachi stood up dusting off his pants. He began to pick up the pieces of his fishing rod and stuff them back into his bag. Instead of explaining, or rather lying, to Sakura about what all this mess was about he chose to ignore them both. He was not in the mood to deal with morons right now.

"Oh, really?"

"Yes. Itachi wanted to get back at you for teasing him, so he decided to lead you on and tease you with chocolate," Naruto summarized.

Sakura looked like she was about to explode. Naruto, however, mistook this as confusion so clarified, "In other words we were fishing for Sakura-chans."

"YOU WHAT!?" Sakura was starting to turn several deep shades of red. This got Itachi's attention.

Itachi slapped his forehead, "God Naruto, can't you keep your trap shut for once!?"

"OH DON'T YOU DARE BLAME THIS ALL ON NARUTO! YOU AND ALL THE REST OF UCHIHA'S GET AWAY WITH FAR TOO MUCH! THIS TME YOU ARE GETTING WHAT YOU DESERVE."

"Give it a rest. We're just superior than average ninjas and that's the tru-"

For once Itachi didn't get to finish one of his biting remarks. Before he could even spare a ninja second to react, Sakura had her fist in his gut and he was soaring through the air, past Ichiraku Ramen, and landing in a tree next to training ground two.

"Wow! That's a new record," Naruto had his hand over his eyes to block out the glare of the sun as he followed Itachi's body through the air.

Sakura turned around and stared menacingly at him.

"Wa-wait Sakura-chan! This this wasn't my idea. It was all Itachi."

Within seconds Naruto had joined Itachi two branches below.

"Wow, what a hit! That Sakura-chan…"

"Naruto, if only you could fathom the extent to which I hate you right now." Itachi was lying limp on his branch. He made no move to untangle his limbs from the small pine branches and he made no move to untangle his hair from the pinecones.

"Then I guess that'll be a no on going to grab some ramen…"

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I took a line from a famous movie. If you find it and name the movie it is from I will hand you over my right kidney. Check my profile for details.


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